Are you prepared to earn the thirst?

At DARTZ FITNEZZ we strive to keep your body in peak physical shape so that you can drink the beers you deserve. Will you get ripped or even lose weight? No, not at all, this ain’t that kinda gym.

You just pop in for maybe 30 mins, do a lil’ bit of exercise, and leave feeling confident and guilt-free knowing that you’ve earned the thirst.

A man with tattoos in glasses lying on the ground holding a dumbbell in a gym, with two women, one holding a bottle of beer and the other resting her head on her arm, sitting nearby.

Meet the dartz fitnezz Team

  • Close-up of a man with long black hair, partially open mouth, and light skin, indoors with a window and blue ceiling in the background.

    Clark Mathews

    CEO of DARTZ FITNEZZ, you will meet him upon arrival when you sign up to our patented pyramid-shaped membership system.

  • A man with dark, curly hair appears tired, with slightly closed eyes, wearing a red shirt with a white collar and a damaged nasal bandage, in a room with a red and white backdrop.

    Rollyz

    Our on-board trainer for dexterity and fine motor skills, including rolling of papers, keeping tempo, and finely tearing apart mid-grade bush weed.

  • Close-up of a man with wet, curly black hair, wearing glasses on his head, a rainbow-colored strap, and a white shirt with an orange collar, standing indoors.

    Crispy

    Crispy can open a beer bottle lid with his quads so we hired him on the spot.

  • Close-up of a man with a beard and mustache wearing a baseball cap, earring, and a T-shirt with a logo, holding a microphone, in an indoor space with clothing and sports equipment in the background.

    Danz

    Our spin class PT, where you ride bikes with beers cartoonishly dangling in front of you off a fishing line attached to a helmet.